


Melt and Break

by thiefofIight



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, F/M, Humanstuck, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 07:52:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2500277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiefofIight/pseuds/thiefofIight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux's heart can melt, but he just doesn't know that one day it will break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Melt and Break

The thing Sollux wanted the most was to make his girlfriend happy, for he knew how hard it could be to deal with him at times. He was aware that the fact that he sometimes refused to go on a date to try out the latest video games or to do some coding could get on her nerves. But he also knew that she loved him, and that she would stay with him no matter what, because it truly did feel like they were made for each other, despite their differences. And he wanted to thank her for being such an amazing girlfriend. That was the reason why Sollux, the skinny nerdy guy who hardly ever left his apartment, had planned a road trip behind his girlfriend’s back. He knew she would love this. They would drive around in his car and stop by whenever she wanted to visit some old monument she had heard about, which would make her smile a lot, and thus make Sollux’s heart melt in the process.

When they left their hometown, Sollux had never seen Aradia so excited about doing something, and he couldn’t help but smile, too. She was the kind of girl who smiled really widely, and that was one of the things Sollux loved so much about her: that huge smile that was far too big for her face.

The couple drove for hours and stopped wherever Aradia had something to see or when Sollux was too tired to drive. Sollux thought that it felt nice to be like this with her, that this was a nice change from spending all his time in his room playing video games and the likes. He thought that, maybe, he could spend his whole life like this, driving with her in the passenger seat while that huge grin never leaves her face. But mostly, he thought about how much he loved her and how much she meant to him. He thought about what his life would be without her and told himself that he really wouldn’t have it any other way. He was in love with her, and it felt right.

Everything went on like this for a few days, until they reached a city and Sollux’s heart stopped melting. He wasn’t sure how it all happened, really. Aradia was babbling about their next stop and how excited she was to get there, and Sollux was looking at her because he simply couldn’t get enough of her smile, and then everything went black. And when Sollux opened his eyes again, everything was extremely noisy, and there was an ambulance and police men and he couldn’t see Aradia anymore. He simply wanted to see her, to make sure she was okay, but they didn’t let him until they got to the hospital, and Sollux’s heart stopped beating too fast.

Then it all made sense. He hadn’t been paying enough attention to the road and the other cars and he had caused a car crash. They told him it wasn’t his fault, that he wasn’t the one who was driving too fast, but Sollux knew that he probably could have avoided it if he had paid more attention to the road and what was going on around them instead of looking at Aradia. But the car crash in itself wasn’t the worst thing for Sollux. It came after they told him about his car being ruined now, after he asked about his girlfriend. The worst thing was when they told him that she hadn’t survived, that they had tried everything to save her but that nothing had worked. That was the moment Sollux’s heart stopped melting and broke because he knew he wouldn’t ever see her smile again, and he really hadn’t gotten enough of it. But the worst part about Aradia’s death was the fact that Sollux entirely blamed himself for it and thought that he really should have paid more attention to what was going on around them. But he was in love with her, and he simply wanted to look at her when she was as happy was she was in the car. He hoped she had died feeling happy, and he that she wasn’t mad at him for killing her, that she still loved him despite how stupid he had been.

Today, it has been a year since this all happened. Sollux’s heart is still in pieces, and he knows he lost some of them along with Aradia. But he’s trying to fix what he has left, because he knows that’s what she would have wanted. She would have wanted him to be happy, even without her. That was just how Aradia was. He misses her every day. Sometimes he wakes up at night and cries in his pillow because she’s just not there anymore. But at the end of the day, he’s doing okay, for someone who lost the love of his life. He still plays video games, because they’re the only things that can get his mind off it when he misses her too much. He also goes out sometimes, but only to see her. He can’t go out if it’s not for her. He never did when she was alive, after all. When he’s in front of her grave, he tells her about his day and about what games he played and which ones he’s excited for. He tells her about his shitty job that consists in fixing computers, about the obnoxious and stupid guy with a purple streak in his hair and too many rings on his fingers who always seems to break every computer he owns, even if he just had it repaired. And sometimes, Sollux can almost hear her laugh like before, and that’s when he breaks down and realizes he’s been there for too long. So he goes home and cries himself to sleep. He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help it.

Sometimes, Sollux hopes for someone who will make his heart melt the way Aradia did. He hopes that he will meet someone who will make him want to go another road trip. He almost wishes that someone could replace her in his life. But he knows that this is impossible, for Aradia Megido was completely unique. And that’s the greatest problem in Sollux Captor’s life: he lost the love of his life, and he just knows he will never see the likes of her again.


End file.
